UNS — In #Newsroom63B, content on ‘Married but Choose To Be Childfree, How Come?’ streamed in TirtoID YouTube channel on 21 May 2021 mentioned an increase in the number of married people who decided to not having children in Indonesia. Some of the reasons for this option are personal, financial, family background, anxiety over children’s growth, environmental issues, and emotional or maternal instinct.
This decision is highly personal and has the probability of inviting negative comments from society or family. This stigma could lead to social pressure for the couple who decided to be childfree. Dr. Tri Rejeki Andayani, S.Psi., M.Si., Social Psychologist from the Faculty of Medical Science (FK) Universitas Sebelas Maret (UNS) Surakarta, stated that the extended family needs to be included in deciding to be childfree. She added that marriage connects both the couple and their families. Thus, the decision to be childfree should be informed to both parents.
“Because the couple’s parents certainly have an expectation on their children’s marriage. One of which is to have grandchildren,” she explained on Thursday (1/7/2021).
If the family does not accept the decision, it will bring social pressure for the couple. But if the decision is accepted, it will be easier to face the social pressure outside of the family.
Why Childfree?
The decision to be childfree might raises a question, why getting married and be childfree? This choice is inseparable from the Indonesian collective culture that expects people to get married and have children. There are many reasons for people to choose to be childfree. One of the compelling reasons is the environmental issues regarding the size of the human population, the declining environmental condition, and food availability. Thus, childfree is an option selected to solve the problems.
Dr. Tri mentioned the Erikson growth model, which stated that everybody would enter stagnant vs. generativity. People in the stagnant phase tend to have a way to contribute towards life. In contrast, generativity encourages a person to care about others and create innovation to make the world a better place, including through marriage. However, generativity is not limited to get married and become parents. Thus, people who have a single-life or childfree will express their generativity through other fields.
“Like being a volunteer, environmental activist, pursuing a professional career, or involved in religious, social, or political activities,” the Psychology Teacher FK UNS explained.
She added that the uncertainty on one’s ability to take care and raise children also often becomes a reason. Therefore, parenting self-efficacy is vital during the pre-nuptial preparation to grow the couple’s trust in their competence in caring for their children. “This (lesson) will affect their parenting style and support their children’s growth,” she stated. Humas UNS
Reporter: Kaffa Hidayati
Editor: Dwi Hastuti